Eight years ago, a family was born by adoption. But my daughter and I started the process in very different places.
I came to adoption excited to parent, bursting with love, and ready to bring my daughter home. I had many hopes and dreams about what our wonderful life together would be like.
My daughter came to adoption with a broken heart. When I met her in 2007, she was 11 years old and had just learned that her birth mother had terminated her parental rights. At the time, she was living in a residential treatment center. She was not interested in being adopted and refused to visit with me or come home with me.
I set out on a long but worthy road and I found myself in a place I thought I didn’t belong. As my daughter would say about our adoption journey, “It is a bumpy road.” It has been full of potholes and rough patches. We’ve had to pay tolls along the way. And we’ve had to follow detours and to take alternate routes. It is not what we expected. The road that led us to a place we didn’t belong, led us to a better place in the end. And I’ve been witness to great courage as my daughter chose to join me on this road.
Before I walked this road, I thought I knew what love was. I had no idea. My daughter has shown and taught me what love really is. Love:
- is risky (and worth the risk).
- is patient.
- isn’t irritable or resentful.
- hangs on through suffering.
- never gives up and will do whatever it takes.
- releases people from your expectations.
- hopes for the best, but doesn’t need it.
- accepts people as they are right now, not as who you want them to be.
- believes that others are doing their best.
- endures. It never ends.
- covers every offense.
- always forgives.
- is greater than fear.
- is more important than being on time, any of my possessions, success, or having it together.
I know that love never fails. Love has transformed us and made the impossible happen. The miracle of love has created a family when no one thought it possible.
About the Author: This blog was written by an adoptive mother through foster care.
