Children impacted by early-life trauma, prenatal substance exposure, or other challenges often experience behavior issues in the classroom. Their teachers and other educational professionals frequently misunderstand their behaviors, especially if they are not familiar with trauma-informed classroom practices. As parents and caregivers, you play a crucial role in advocating for your children’s needs. However, you may not know where to start. How can you effectively partner with the school to set the stage for clear understanding, collaboration, and mutual respect between home and school?
Working with the School Over Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors
1. Set this relationship up as a two-way street.
When the school year starts, open the dialogue between home and school by offering several short, easy-to-digest resources on topics that impact your child, like trauma, prenatal substance exposure, attachment challenges, and so on. For example, offer Sarah Naish’s book, Therapeutic Parenting in a Nutshell* or share the CreatingaFamily.org article, Tantrums, Meltdowns & Whining, Oh, My! How to Parent Challenging Behaviors. Pick a few key points and tell the teacher how you implement the suggested practices at home.
Then, follow these resources with an offer of help in the classroom. You may be focused on starting the school year by settling your child into their new classroom but continue your in-person involvement throughout the year.
- Be a weekly reader in Language Arts.
- Offer an extra set of hands during science projects or class parties.
- Volunteer in the library, shelving books.
- Bring home cutting, gluing, or labeling projects.
It will help if you offer tangible, practical help to this teacher. Your involvement and sharing of trauma-informed content show the teacher your commitment to a successful home-school partnership.
2. Share critical information about the child’s struggles that impact the classroom.
Your child’s teacher may have learned about the impacts of trauma or prenatal substance exposure on a child’s learning experience. However, you are the expert on what those impacts look like for your specific child. Share those observations and experiences early in the school year to help this teacher fully understand your child’s struggles. Be sure to share your child’s strengths to help them see your child’s preciousness. Take an extra moment or two to praise or encourage your child’s teacher when you see them positively impacting the child after you’ve worked through an issue together. A little encouragement goes a long way for them!
Understanding Prenatal Exposure to Alcohol and Drugs
3. Make sure the school has access to trauma-informed resources.
Your child’s school may be part of the growing trend to include trauma-informed principles in their educational platform. Indeed, the principles are spreading rapidly across the country. However, many districts are still lagging in the necessary education about trauma and its impacts. When you offer additional resources, you are widening their access to resources that improve the opportunities for these educators to learn what resonates with them and works well for their students.
Some parents donate books to the school library. Others give tipsheets, books, or video curriculum to the teacher. The goal is to offer the resources that work well for your family and invite the teachers to learn with you.
FREE courses school administrators and teachers might appreciate!
4. Be honest about your family’s struggles and successes.
Talk candidly (and kindly) about your family’s journey and what you have learned about supporting your child. Discuss how you came to your parenting style, why you decided to set boundaries around homework at home, or why you keep school consequences at school (and not let school discipline bleed over to your home life).
Be sure to share your goals and dreams for this child and the family values you hold sacred. These conversations help them understand what matters to you about your child’s educational experience. For example, it’s okay to be honest with them that you prioritize safe, healthy attachment over memorizing multiplication facts.
Form a Productive Partnership with the School
Most parents of kids who struggle in school will tell you that it’s easy for the relationship to become adversarial. However, if you focus on curiosity, collaboration, and mutually agreeing to support your student, it will be easier to form a partnership. Having this teacher in your corner when your child is acting out in class or struggling to maintain appropriate behaviors will make the whole experience better for you, your child, and the teacher too.
This post was originally published by Creating A Family on July 18, 2024. View the original post here.
