Courtney’s skills as an attorney came in handy as she explored becoming an adoptive parent. She did her research, keeping in mind her situation as a single woman with a high-pressure job. She interviewed friends who had adopted children. She scoped out agencies that could help navigate the adoption process.
And, then, she decided: yes, she wanted to adopt, most likely from India. Ultimately, she wanted more than one child. They didn’t have to be infants — in fact, she preferred older children.
“I thought it would be more interesting to have an older child whose personality I could see right away,” said Courtney, “and then build a family around that.”
Courtney listened to advice from friends who had adopted. They told her the adoption process can be long and demanding, and she should consider adopting siblings if she thought she ultimately wanted multiple children.
“That made a lot of sense, so I decided to adopt siblings,” said Courtney.
Hurry Up and Wait
Courtney clearly remembers the day she got the call that would change her life.
“I was in the San Francisco airport when Children’s Home called with the news that I had gotten through all the approvals,” Courtney recalls. “I was overjoyed! They cautioned me to be realistic about the timeline to be matched. It could take months, sometimes up to a year, so I prepared myself.”
Less than six hours later, she retrieved a voice mail: “Hi, Courtney. This is Children’s Home. Please ignore our prior conversation! We have matched you with a sibling pair.”
Stunned but elated, Courtney made plans to travel to India. Within months, she completed the paper work, received approvals from India and the U.S., and anxiously awaited the children’s passports. Then a change in the interpretation of Indian adoption law delayed Courtney’s ability to meet the children. She was told the delay could be as long as five years if the Indian courts needed it to be.
Then, almost two months later and without notice, the children’s passports arrived. She quickly made travel plans, and shortly after, met her then 5-year-old son Rohit and 3-year-old daughter Prerna. Courtney describes the moment as twice as emotional as she expected, and also twice as anti-climactic.
“This was the moment you dream of,” Courtney said. “You want the process to go fast and you’re frustrated it’s taking so long, and then you show up and you are handed these little beings, and you think for one moment, ‘Oh, dear, am I sure about this?’”
Two Pieces of the Same Whole
It didn’t take long for Courtney to know she was sure and even more sure about adopting siblings.
“When everything around them is changing, their siblings are the same,” Courtney said. “For the first few months, it was clearly them and me as separate units. I’m sure they thought, ‘We’re together, and then there’s this woman who’s feeding us and taking us places, but all that matters is we’re together.’”
About six months after bringing the children home, Courtney could see changes in her family as the children’s personalities and interests emerged. They all grew to trust and love each other. Having her son and daughter together is exactly what Courtney hoped for in a family.
“Rohit and Prerna are two pieces of the same whole and they have this life together. That’s so joyful.”
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